Who Finds You Attractive? How Beliefs Shape Interracial Attraction

Interracial Attraction

Do you believe you’re more attractive to people of your own race (your in-group) or to people of other races (your out-group)?

At Hola Therapy, we often sit with clients navigating these very questions. In Mexico City’s cross-cultural environment, topics of interracial sex, love, and attraction come up frequently in therapy. Many people wonder not just who they’re drawn to, but also how their own race and cultural background are received by others in Mexico.

A 2025 study published in Cultural Diversity & Ethnic Minority Psychology sheds light on this dynamic. The researchers explored metaperception—our beliefs about what others believe about us—and how it shapes interracial attraction.

They found that attraction isn’t just about personal preference. It’s also influenced by what we believe about who finds us desirable.

Key findings from the U.S. study on Interracial Attraction:

• Asian and Black Americans tended to believe they were more attractive to White Americans (out-group) than to each other (in-group).

• These beliefs predicted greater attraction toward White partners.

The results also showed race- and gender-specific patterns:

• White men believed they were more attractive to Asian women and, in turn, found Asian women more attractive.

• White women believed they were less attractive to Asian men, but more attractive to Black men—and their attraction followed the same pattern.

In a fascinating twist, when researchers manipulated beliefs by giving participants false information about which groups found them attractive, the participants’ own attraction shifted. Their desire adjusted to align with the belief that they were most attractive to those who were most attracted to them.

This research is so important, as much of the existing research on interracial attraction either comes from an anthropology framework (strengthening genes and multiplying) or from a social hierarchy standpoint (race as a currency that is traded off). The problem with the latter is that most of the research only considers attraction from the perspective White people, and the voices of other racial groups have been largely ignored. This research intentionally asked each racial group about their preferences.

Beyond the research: what we see in Mexico

Of course, these findings are drawn from a U.S. context and reflect its particular racial history and hierarchies. But we wonder if the theme resonates more broadly.

When we asked this question in a poll on our Instagram (with followers who are largely foreigners living in Mexico), about 70% said they felt more attractive to out-groups, while 30% felt more attractive to their own group.

Why it matters

This research highlights how beliefs and attraction interact in complex ways. It isn’t simply about who we find beautiful or appealing. It’s also about reciprocity, perception, and the social hierarchies we live within.

Reference

Auelua-Toomey, S. L., & Roberts, S. O. (2024). Romantic racism: How racial preferences (and beliefs about racial preferences) reinforce hierarchy in U.S. interracial relationships. Cultural Diversity & Ethnic Minority Psychology, 30(3), 532–552. https://doi.org/10.1037/cdp0000592