Polyamory and Consensual Nonmonogamy in Mexico

Polyamory and Consensual Non-Monogamy in Mexico

Despite Mexico’s reputation for traditional gender roles and family structure, many people are exploring polyamorous relationship models. For foreigners living in Mexico, it can be difficult to find information on how polyamory is received in Mexico, making it challenging to navigate this space in a culturally-informed way.  

Let’s start with some definitions.

Relationships that are not exclusive by default, and include a commitment to intentionality, honesty and consent, fall under the umbrella term of Consensual Nonmonogamy (CNM). Unlike infidelity - where secrecy and betrayal often cause deep relational harm - CNM relies on open communication and consent. CNM includes, but is not limited to: 

Swinging – Couples who engage in consensual sexual encounters with other couples

Open relationships – partners allow each other to have romantic or sexual experiences with others, while maintaining a primary emotional connection with each other.

Polyamory – romantic and/or emotional relationships with multiple people at the same time, commonly with hierarchies e.g. a primary relationship, but not necessarily. Another example is a closed triad relationship between three people.

Relationship anarchy – All relationships are viewed as equal, with no hierarchy or special privileges given to any one relationship.

A Global Snapshot: Understanding Consensual Non-Monogamy

While comprehensive international data on consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is still limited in most countries, a growing number of studies offer insight into its prevalence and appeal. In the United States, for example, a major study found that approximately 20% of adults have engaged in CNM at some point in their lives (Haupert et al., 2017). Similarly, a 2017 Canadian national survey reported that 20% of participants had previously participated in CNM, and 12% considered it their ideal relationship model (Moors et al., 2021). 

These snapshots suggest that in certain countries, CNM is not a marginal practice, but a relationship style that resonates with a portion of the population.

What About Mexico? 

No national data on CNM prevalence in Mexico yet exists (that we could find). However, we do know that about 78% of the population identifies as Catholic and another 11% as Christian, meaning 89% of the population identifies as Catholic or Christian (National Institute for Statistics and Geography (INEGI), 2020), and that traditional, religious and monogamous narratives of marriage and relationships dominate. Nevertheless, emerging research is beginning to paint a more nuanced picture.

For example, a recent 2024 study by Casares Contreras and Rodríguez Cárdenas provides one of the first detailed looks at CNM experiences in Mexico. The study, conducted between 2022 and 2024, involved 186 participants across the Yucatán Peninsula and used a combination of surveys and semi-structured interviews. Participants gave a variety of reasons for choosing CNM. Some of the most common included:

• A rejection of heteronormativity and mononormativity as a political stance (25%)

• A belief in the possibility of loving more than one person at the same time (18%)

• A view that social conventions limit relational freedom (13%)

• A belief that monogamy is unnatural (12%)

• A sense that one person can’t or shouldn’t fulfill all needs (11%)

• A perception that monogamy is boring or purposeless (4%)

Of note - within the above reasons listed, only women described their choice to leave monogamy as a political act; and only men, by contrast, described monogamy as simply boring. 

When participants were asked how they were first introduced to consensual non-monogamy (CNM) or polyamory, 34% said they were brought into the dynamic by a partner. Another 33% reported learning about it through close friends, ex-partners, or others in their social circle. The remaining 33% came to it independently, often through personal reflection, reading, or a preexisting discomfort with monogamy. 

In the study, the majority of participants were in the 30–39 age range (43%), followed by those 20–29 years old (25%) - suggesting that younger generations, particularly Millennials and Gen Z, are more open to nontraditional relationship models. Additionally, roughly a quarter of participants were non-Mexican foreigners living in Mexico, primarily from the United States - yet the data suggests that generational change may be a stronger influence than nationality or religious background.

The Emotional Landscape of Consensual Non-Monogamy: Challenges and Benefits

Participants in the Yucatan shared both the difficulties and the positive impacts of their CNM experiences.

Common challenges included:

• Managing jealousy and insecurity

• Fear or anxiety about being judged by family or close friends

• Encounters with machismo, particularly in swinger spaces where heterosexual men were seen as prioritizing their own pleasure at the expense of partners

Reported benefits included:

• Greater emotional honesty and transparency

• Stronger connections with partners

• Improved communication skills

• The ability to express one’s sexuality more freely and comfortably

Polyamory and Queer Culture in Mexico

Polyamory in Mexico has a more open history within queer spaces. Returning to the Casares Contreras and Rodríguez Cárdenas study, as the vast majority of participants were queer. This suggests that queer Mexican communities - already positioned outside mainstream norms - may find CNM more initially accessible.

Supporting this, a separate 2020 ethnographic study by Anahi Russo Garduño, titled "Between Same-Sex Marriage, Convivencia, and Polyamory: A New Cartography of Queer Relationships in Mexico City", observed that cis and trans women in lesbian/queer spaces often view polyamory as part of a broader effort to resist normative structures like state-sanctioned marriage. The concept of convivencia - living together in mutual care - offered a framework for alternative relationships rooted in community-defined values rather than state or religious norms.

Final Thoughts 

For many individuals engaged in CNM, it isn’t just a lifestyle choice but a value system grounded in emotional transparency, mutual care, and personal growth. Hopefully, future studies will shed more light on the national prevalence of CNM in Mexico and the experiences of those who practice it. However from this initial review, we can see that a) it is often a political stance for women 2) it is not mutually exclusive with catholicism and 3) it may be more common in queer communities that are accustomed to being outside of the mainstream relationship models in Mexico. 

At Hola Therapy, we work with foreigners living in Mexico. Many of our clients identify as queer and/or in CNM relationships. We have therapists and psychologists who are knowledgeable and affirming of CNM, and we're here to support you - whether you're currently practicing, just beginning to explore, or simply curious about what it could mean for you.

Reference List

Casares Contreras, Orlando & Milka Abril Rodríguez Cárdenas. (2024). Aproximaciones a las no monogamias/Poliamor en la Yucatán. )Approaches to Non-Monogamy/Polyamory in the Yucatan Peninsula). Estudios y Perspectivas Revista Científica y Académica. 4. 1607–1637.

Garrido, Anahi. (2020). Between Same-Sex Marriage, Convivencia , and Polyamory: A New Cartography of Queer Relationships in Mexico City. Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society. 46. 127-149. 10.1086/709216. 

Haupert, M. L., Gesselman, A. N., Moors, A. C., Fisher, H. E., & Garcia, J. R. (2017).

Prevalence of experiences with consensual nonmonogamous relationships: Findings from two national samples of single Americans. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 43(5), 424–440. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2016.1178675

Moors, A. C., Balzarini, R. N., Rubel, A. N., & Conley, T. D. (2021).

A national snapshot of consensual nonmonogamy in Canada: Prevalence, experiences, and predictors. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, Article 619640. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.619640